Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Building a Thesis: September 5, 2018

Focus: How do we develop a routine for building a structurally sound thesis?

1. Warming up with Puritan Words, List 2

2. Observing: Look over your research with a curious mind, and try the following:

a. Make a few simple observations regarding your topic/research that you think are important and/or that interest you the most.
  • As Y2K approached, people were quick to panic.
  • Many assumed that a technical glitch would essentially lead to the end of civilized life.
  • People hoarded goods, build underground shelters, and prepared for the new millennium as though preparing for a natural disaster or a war.

b. Based on your observations, ask a Level 3 question that you hope to answer as you dive into your research. TYPE IT AT THE TOP OF YOUR ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY.

Remember: A Level 3 question has many possible answers and can be applied to many situations.
  • Ex: Why is paranoia contagious?
  • Ex: What is the link between reliance on technology and mass panic?
  • Once you have your Level 3 question, you will know exactly what you will spend your essay trying to prove!
    3 or 4. Shaping your structure:
    • What might you discuss in your first body paragraph? Your second? Do you need a third or a fourth?
    3 or 4. Making your thesis:
    • Looking at your structure, develop a thesis that makes an argument, hopefully by answering your big, Level 3 question, and lays out the overall structure.
    • My Level 3 question: Why is paranoia contagious?
    • My rough thesis: The events of Y2K expose that paranoia is most contagious when it's rooted in dependence on technology and fear of poverty.
    • POST YOUR THESIS ON TODAY'S CLASS BLOG. DUE BEFORE CLASS TOMORROW.

    HW:
    1. For Thursday: Please finish your thesis if you did not finish in class. I will be reviewing them with you individually in class tomorrow. POST IT ON TODAY'S CLASS BLOG.

    Also, if you need to add to / modify your annotated bibliography to support your thesis, please do so tonight.

    2. Spend five minutes a day with Puritan Words, List 2. You will have another assessment this Friday.

    3. Prepare your one-minute speech for this Friday.

    60 comments:

    1. ****My Thesis**** The birther conspiracy showed that racism distracted us from economical issues because our president had to publicially liberate his birth certificate, which he stated multiple times distracted him from solving economic issues across America.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. Fantastic start! If you'd like to take one more step outside your topic, you could phrase the second half in a way that states the larger patterns. For ex: "The birther conspiracy shows how racism distracts us economical issues and deprives our President of the power to solve those issues."

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    2. Thesis Statement:

      A food contamination outbreak of Listeria in the United States and other places in the world is causing people to create a hysteria about foods they are buying and the food processing facilities the food is coming from.

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      Replies
      1. Good start...I like the cause & effect ideas you're exploring here. I'd love to see the second half of your thesis capture the impact of the hysteria a bit more. For ex: "A food contamination outbreak...is creating a hysteria in the worlds of food purchasing and food processing, consequently warping Americans' attitudes towards nutrition," or "...consequently damaging our economy," or whatever bigger consequence you noticed in your research.

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    3. Thesis Statement:
      The controversies of the 2016 election caused Americans to fear politics because of actions of the candidates and interference with the voting system.

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      Replies
      1. I like how concise and focused this. Here's where you might take it next: Consider "spicing this up" a bit by including some powerful word choices that reveal the danger of this particular hysteria. For example, in the second half of your thesis, you might describe the actions of the candidates...were they corrupt? Manipulative? Same thing with the "interference with the voting system"--was it intentional? Malicious?

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    4. Thesis Statement: The Scare of the Ebola Outbreak in Africa proved that humans in the United States overreact in fear when not knowing the proper information.

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      Replies
      1. I like the connection between overreaction and ignorance here. Can you find at least one more pattern to mention here to set up your thesis for multiple body paragraphs? For example, you could find one more thing that tends to make us overreact in fear, or you could find one more consequence of not knowing the proper information.

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    5. Thesis Statement:
      Our attitudes towards conversion disorder reveal how people are likely to be suspicious and how people look towards the extreme positive and negatives of any situation.

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      Replies
      1. Hello there! Can you reply to this to let me know who you are? I'm thinking this is Amber, but I want to make sure. You made several quick revisions to this, and it's now in excellent shape! You're ready to draft.

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      2. Amber Wennerstrom

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    6. Thesis: The hysteria around Marilyn Manson shows how deeply americans fear things they don't understand.

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      Replies
      1. I really like how you've taken a specific person and connected him to a huge idea. My one suggestion is to try to establish at least one more pattern here so that your thesis is setting up your essay for multiple body paragraphs. For example, you could list one more thing that Americans deeply fear, or you could state one more aspect of humanity revealed by the Marilyn Manson hysteria.

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    7. Thesis Statement:
      The Mayan calendar predicted that the world would end in 2012 in a fiery flame engulfing the world; people feared for their lives all because of the belief that the world would end this way, this was caused by the fear communicated to others that began to grow, forming massive hysteria.

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      Replies
      1. I like how you're using powerful language to emphasize the far-reaching nature of this hysteria. In the second half of your thesis (after the semicolon), try to establish the larger pattern of human behavior that this one event exemplifies. For example, "...this belief that the world would end reveals how hysteria starts with ______ and grows into ______." In other words, try to establish the larger causes and/or effects at work here.

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    8. Thesis Statement:
      The event of the June Bug Epidemic reveals that fear is penetrated through the power of media and the effect of surrounding human behavior influence.

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      Replies
      1. Powerful, clear ideas--well done! Let's adjust your final phrase, "the effect of surrounding human behavior influence" so that it's a bit more specific and concise. Can you think of a shorter phrase that says want you want it to say?

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    9. Thesis********* Media has corrupted people into thinking they need to lose weight by showing the new fad diets and targeting diets and weight loss ads toward teens and middle schoolers as well as adults.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. Many strong, specific patterns here that you've observed quite well. My one suggestion is to try to get rid of some your "and's" and to be perhaps a bit harsher in your word choices. For example, you could say, "...showing dangerous fad diets and targeting not only the vulnerability of adults but of young teenagers."

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    10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    11. Thesis Statement:
      The idea of a hoaxed moon landing has shown that fear and uneasiness towards a subject can shape our opinions and transform our character into something completely different than who we really are.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. I like how you're taking a specific phenomenon and attaching it to a larger statement about human nature. My one suggestion is to get a bit more specific in the last part of our thesis...perhaps a bit more critical. For ex, "...and transform our character into something less empathetic and less trusting."

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      2. Great, can do.

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    12. Thesis Statement:
      The theory of the Mad Gasser lead to people losing control of their own body when there are many fears of gassing from the wars and the fear of being gassed.

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      Replies
      1. Hey Cole--I can't remember if I gave you feedback in class, so I'm going to give you feedback here just in case. I think you're linking this hysteria some really important, big ideas about human nature/culture. Keep working on cleaning up the phrasing to be as concise as possible when establishing the relationship between these ideas. For ex, "The Mad Gasser hysteria reveals people's greatest fears: fear of losing control of the body, fear of war, and fear of mortality." You don't have to use that thesis, but I wanted to give you a concrete example of what I was trying to say. :)

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    13. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    14. Thesis: Fear induces humans to commit the most outrageous acts. Being surrounded by danger can drive people to carry out ludicrous actions. The story of "The Mad Gasser of Mattoon" used it's infamous influence to expose the idea that, people can be manipulated by fear.

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    15. Thesis Statement:
      The internment of Japanese Americans during WWII demonstrates that racial prejudices can lead to mass hysteria because humans fear the unknown and tend to use racial profiling.

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    16. Thesis:
      The events of Pearl Harbor exposed our true culture through power and fear.

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      Replies
      1. You're definitely getting the idea of this essay, which is to make a larger statement about human nature/our culture. I'd like to see you get this more specific. In other words, what relationship between power and fear did this event expose?

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    17. 9/11 shattered the minds of many. The modern day shell shock was a catalyst for the conspiracies soon to rise. As people pieced their minds back together they noticed a missing piece, who to blame?

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      Replies
      1. I like your writing style here. Right now, this is reading like an introductory paragraph, but I'd like to see you add a single sentence to the end of this that serves as a thesis. Specifically, you could address what aspects of human nature are to blame for this.

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    18. The death of XXXTentacion showed the connection a leader can have to their followers and how a sudden event like the death of XXXTentacion caused his followers to react in unlawful and unusual ways.

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      Replies
      1. I like how you're focusing on the relationship between leader and followers--this plays a major role in many hysterias. I'd like to see you get a little more specific in showing how your two (or three) body paragraphs will break down. Right now, you could make your first body paragraph about how a leader's influence can cause unlawfulness in his followers, and your second about how that influence can cause unusual behavior, but I'm worried those might be too similar...

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    19. Manifest destination, racism, greed, and the urge for humanity to explore boundaires were contributing elements when looking back on the gold rush hysteria.

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      Replies
      1. I like how you're identifying significant causes in this particular hysteria. Can you broaden this just a bit to make a larger statement about all hysterias / human nature/ culture? For example, "The Gold Rush hysteria reveals the human urge to explore boundaries but also to succumb to racism and greed." You don't need to use that as your thesis, but I wanted to give you a concrete example.

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    20. The third bridge reveals that people desire something bigger than themselves to happen and irrational ideas come about through disastrous trends.

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    21. Thesis: The Le Roy High School tic hysteria displays social media linking teen girls to subconsciously mimic others around them, along with cause fear and manipulation of those who are a part of it.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. I like the specificity here...I'd like to rephrase this just a little to make a larger, level 3 statement. For ex: "The Le Roy High School tic hysteria displays how social media causes the subconscious mimicry, fear, and manipulation that lead to mass hysteria." -- Ms. Leclaire

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    22. The broadcast of “The war of the worlds” brought to light that as a species we are most apprehensive to more intelligent life forms because of past history and the fear of being replaceable.

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      Replies
      1. First, thanks for using a vocab word. Second, this looks pretty darn good...I especially like "the fear of being replaceable." After you write your first body paragraph, you might be able to rephrase "past history" to get a little more specific there.

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    23. The McMartin Preschool Case reveals that fear can bring people to their most illogical and primal selves.

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      Replies
      1. Concise, clear connection between this specific event and the larger, uglier truth it reveals about human nature. I think you're ready to start drafting, but once you've composed your body paragraphs, you might want to come back to this thesis and see if you can work in the concept of "mass hysteria." Also, if you find that fear driving people to be illogical and fear driving people to their primal selves are too similar, we may need to adjust one of the patterns (but they might be plenty different).

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    24. The shark attack hysteria reveals that people fear unlikely scenarios.

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    25. We like to explore the fear factor in the Stanley Hotel because people like to be a part of the bigger story and show how scientifically we latch onto fear in order to comprehend it.

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      Replies
      1. This is a great starting thesis, and I think this essay will be fun to write. I think you're ready to start drafting, and once you draft your body paragraphs, you may be able to come back to this and work in the term "cultural hysteria" (or you could make the connection somewhere in your intro paragraph).

        Delete
    26. The Bin Laden Itch reveals that people assume the worst because there is an abundance of hate in our world.

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      Replies
      1. Awesome connection between a specific hysteria and a darker statement about humanity. My biggest suggestion is to add one more argument / pattern to your thesis so that you're setting up your essay for at least two body paragraphs. For example, what else is there an abundance of? Or, what does this abundance of hate lead us to do?

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    27. The American Anthrax attacks right after 9/11 shows that it takes extreme actions for Americans to feel secure from danger.

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      Replies
      1. Great start! You need more major point/pattern. First body paragraph = Americans' need to feel safe by taking extreme actions. Second body paragraph = Consequences of taking these extreme actions...what do we sacrifice in order to feel safe? --Ms Leclaire

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    28. The Toxic Lady reveals how stress plays a central role in mass hysteria and how the medical community causes the hysteria to spread rapidly.

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    29. War and paranoia have gone hand in hand throughout history and the Red Scare perfectly embodies how paranoia can boil into hysteria.

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      Replies
      1. Important connection between war and paranoia here. In your introductory paragraph, you may want to distinguish between a "hot war" and a "cold war." I'd like to see you get a bit more specific in addressing what you might discuss in your body paragraphs. In other words, break down here HOW paranoia can boil into hysteria.

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    30. The LeRoy High School phenomenon aided society into the understanding that stress is the essence of cultural hysteria and media only aggravates the matter.

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    31. Y2k is the epitamy of mass hysteria because of the widespread chaos that it caused, and the spread of it through the media.

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    Stand Up and Speak! May 20 or 23, 2019

    Focus:  What do we want each other to understand better or differently? 1. Warming up with your  American Lit stats 2. Speaking and List...